Criticism and Sensitivity

Its been a little depressing today. I'm feeling pretty low after this morning's session. I'd taken my FD201 images in to college to ask for help with some adjustments I wanted to make. However, I got more than I bargained for. After describing that the theme for my project is longing, isolation and loneliness, I was given some constructive criticism. In short, that none of my images conveyed these emotions and that I needed to shoot again to make my images bleaker and darker. The suggestion was that I should find an urban landscape or a more solitary subject that would give a clearer picture of the emotion I want to convey to my viewer.

I was very upset; the deadline is next week and I am already feeling the pressure to get everything done. The sentiments I received were not what I wanted to hear at this time. I felt that with time rushing by, and having already shot approximately six films on the first image for the project, I needed some encouragement. However, I know that the criticism wasn't said with malice or insensitivity but only said to challenge me and improve my work.

As the day has moved on and I have thought about this, I do understand what was meant and that my images maybe don't show the emotion that I am feeling about being unable to go home. But it is very disappointing when I have put so much work and effort into this project, to hear that my work hasn't yet been as successful as I had hoped, at least in the opinion of one person.

Feeling as I did, I spoke to my other lecturers and they assured me that this is commonplace. The opinion of one person is not the opinion of all. I felt a little reassured and appreciated their support, but unfortunately being sometimes an oversensitive soul, and only recently having persuaded myself that being an artist is all about having confidence in my own work, and being strong, and occasionally single minded when others criticise my work, I am however inclined to dwell on such criticism, and it has affected my mood.

As a result of feeling knocked sideways and jaded, and once again beating myself up because of doubts I have in my abilities as an artist/photographer, I decided that I would try to take advantage of the bleakness I felt inside. I was now missing my family even more, wishing they were here to comfort me. I loaded another film into my Medium Format Camera and went for a walk in the park.

I shot a few frames until the light was too dark to shoot more, and thought that if tomorrow morning brings more rain and mist it would give me an opportunity to try and photograph the emotions I am feeling now. Had this have happened yesterday, the weather conditions this morning had been ideal.

I will have to wait and see what the results of this film are. This will be my final opportunity to shoot film as I will have to hand them in for printing, at the latest, on Monday.  My Group Crit is on Thursday afternoon, so it is unlikely that I will be able to have them processed by then.

So we'll see what happens. You never know, I may be able to thank my critic, if indeed the final submission is taken from this final film.