Chasing Shadows, Sensing Light

This morning I shot some images at home of the shadow and light patterns created by the sun, continuing with my "Chasing Shadows, Sensing Light" project. I find the patterns quite serene, and there are often pictures of "faces" visible in them. There is a sense of time, time passing, time I can't return too, time ticking away, time forever moving ..... I've wondered why I'm watching these shadows.

Awakening

Influenced and Inspired by the work of Uta Barth using "Blur"

Is it because I am growing older and I can't turn back time? Is it because I'm thinking about what I've learned over the years and how my experience has informed my outlook and created the person that I am today? I expect its all those things and much more.  I see the light in the shadows and know that I can stand in it (in a spiritual sense) but that even the light doesn't always give me the peace that I long for.

As far as my college work goes, I do feel that I'm forever trying to "catch up" or that I'm chasing the next part of the weeks' projects. There is always some task to do;  there is so little respite in the relentless amount of work I have piled on my desk, and I am beginning to feel disheartened with it.

I've reached a low point with this term's work. I'm not really enjoying it much, I'm finding it too demanding and I'm struggling to keep up.

Today we did a very small presentation of our Book Cover images. I knew mine was rubbish but I felt I had to contribute something and I tried to sound enthusiastic, but I could tell that my effort was a waste of time. I did enjoy the lecture and workshop but they only made me realise that I have so much yet to do. I'm struggling with the Chiaroscuro lighting, and although I have ideas for my Book Covers, at this point in time, my heart just isn't in it. In fact I  just want to do something simple, I don't particularly want to try and challenge myself. But maybe, hopefully, its just a phase I'm going through. I had thought that my lack of motivation last term was my "blip" but now I'm not so sure.

I'm asking myself why am I putting myself through this pressure? Why exactly do I want a Degree? What do I  want to achieve? And why am I continuing with the course? Is it really worth it? I just don't know.